It’s too soon. I would never forgive myself if I don’t push you back. So, I choose to live with the regret of letting you spitting your apology.
“I was insane. I don’t know what to do. She took all my life in a second. That I should’ve told you from the very first, I have a twin. Like before he took his own life, he had this girl and a baby.”
Again. Hold on.
“So this girl came, with teary eyed and a red baby in her arms, asking me to take care of them. My decease twin passed me a thing that never been mine: his responsibility. I was speechless, Nina. Believe me.”
Wait. There are a lot of things that couldn’t fit in my head. A twin. A decease twin. A twin’s girlfriend with a baby. A twin’s girlfriend with a baby coming to him asking a responsibility.
Well, slow down.
“Then, I refused. All I could think about is you, my future. But the next day, she put a note on my desk that she wouldn’t bother to kill the baby then kill herself if I didn’t change my mind.”
“But why didn’t you tell me? How could I not know that you had a twin. We’ve been together in years. How could you hide it?”
“Because I don’t want you be hurt this way. I know it is cliché. I know it is bad. Very. But I couldn’t think at the time, Nina. I just don’t want to lose you but apparently you’re gone.”
“No. I wasn’t gone. It was you.”
The chilly wind blows my hairs and it strikes me to the reality.
“I just want you to understand me, Nina.”
“That is a huge demand.”
“I know. I know. I couldn’t ask anything. But, let me ask for once. She was insane. I could understand how my twin finally chosen to say goodbye to this world and everything. It is better than stay with her.”
Now, you put something in my wit.
“I am listening.”
You stopped. Then I realized, we’ve arrived in my front door apartment building. Okay, let’s end tonight here. Maybe tomorrow. I will need an extra sleep to ensure this is not a dream, to decide that whether it is a good or bad.
“Can we have a cup of tea? I miss your bergamot one.”