I found myself in a quite difficult situation when I have to explain to my friends and family why I likely never put my daughter’s pictures on my social media. It’s seems like I don’t share my happiness with them when I have this little darling coming to my life. The ‘sharenting’ phenomena has brought my sense back that if I don’t hold myself posting those pictures of her, I would be ended up having thousands of hers running wild in the social media. My thing is, this is not about my wish. This is about her and for sure, under her consent.
Frankly, I would think that my daughter lying naked while bathing would be a funny moment to be kept. Yes. I kept it. I’ll show her someday. But make it public? No. This is my and my husband’s decision to go with after we went through our own thought and research. I am sharing this personal decision because I was amazed with the question of us not sharing our moments with the new baby. They might be thinking that we are not happy with her or ashamed of her. The reality is that I and my husband are so happy to have her right now. Sharing this happiness doesn’t mean that we should post her picture online, at least that what we believe.
Posting up the pictures of your child is a commonplace right now. The proud feeling of how cute their children are or the thought that they are doing a good parenting (and it is necessary to tell people as many as possible) is something that parents have. This is the very basic reason why they post very often (as what I could see so far). Of course, every parents would think they are doing the right things and they believe that sharing it will, somehow, ‘help’ other parents. I don’t blame (and never will) their doings.
When I dressed her and I found it very cute, the first thing I want to do is to share that. Sharing that here look at my baby. Isn’t she cute? When she smiles or laughs, believe me I really want to share it. But again, I think twice. At the first time find myself very hard to not to post it. Later on, I could get in to this line: never, or very rarely, put her picture on my social media. Let alone setting a new account for her.
When you are being amazed with their growth and then get used to post your children’s pictures on your social media, you will find yourself addicted and perhaps, couldn’t stop. Having their childhood moments (embarrassing or not) available online would be something harmful psychologically for them in the future. Someone they know might end up searching their embarrassing childhood moments that you’ve posted. Imagine how upset they are when they know their parents share publicly what they don’t want other people to see. Bullying is a real thing. Life is hard for kids now, I don’t want to make it harder by providing something that may drag my daughter into that thing.
I would prefer spending hours on the phone with my mom telling about my daughter’s new move each day. It is a perfect way to share and keep your privacy in the right track, for me at least. It will strengthen my bond with my family and friends, especially my mom, because they know about my daughter from me directly not from the picture that I post online.
For parent, children are very important. Of course, my daughter is my most precious possession I have and putting her on social media with all the risks that could happen is a very hasty decision. Why would I bring my very vulnerable little princess on a public attention?
I believe no parents ever want or even think to harm their children. None of them does. I do things that I believe it’s right for my daughter and I respect their rights to do differently. I totally understand that this post is kind of creating an image that I’m judging them for doing differently. But here is the thing, by posting their children’s pictures on their social media they just open a potential injury to their children. Posting pictures could unfold the features that shouldn’t be known by strangers: their full name in their uniforms, school’s name and address, favorites (animal, food, and etc.) that could attract them to the strangers anywhere, and some others extra features that the parents may less cautious for.
Sure, I have many moments when I do take a pictures with some family, friends, and colleagues (with my daughter in it). Then I start to construct the idea of there should be a parent consent before posting a picture where there is their children’s feature in it. I don’t want my daughter’s picture being posted by others without my consent. That’s it. The fact that most of the parents don’t care about this thing really terrifies me.
As a parent, I would be happily tell everyone that I’m proud of my daughter and share the achievement she has. Posting it to my social media is very tempting –believe me- but I realize once it is in there, there will be no control over it. It is simply because I don’t want my daughter becomes a subject of people’s attention or judgment (based on her picture) while she doesn’t have to (want it) only because my itchy finger on my phone screen.
What is that I am afraid of? As a person, I will feel a satisfaction when I reach the number of likes (of my posted pictures) and get addicted to post that again and again. As a parent, that likes and comments will make me think that I am doing a good parenting. Then, I will keep posting my daughter’s pictures and perhaps won’t be able to stop. So, before I trap myself in, I’d rather to stay away from doing that in the first place.
And oh, I really really am confused with the fact that the parents don’t want their children playing the social media themselves without their advice. Yet, the parents keep posting their children pictures online. Have you ever ask these question: why do you put their picture online when in the same time you don’t want them going online themselves? Is it a parent’s ego? Why would you wish your children a happy birthday when they are not in the social media? They are too young to be able to read all those posts (and yes they aren’t on the social media yet).
We, as a child, often think that our parents are selfish. Then now, as a parent, would we think and ask ourselves whether we are being selfish or not towards our children?
Please note that I’m not judging anyone here. It’s just my explanation and rational thought of why I don’t post my daughter’s pictures online.