Personal Thought

Inspiring or Just a Showing Off?

Bedanya menginspirasi dan pamer itu tipis, cyin.

Sudah lama saya cukup teriritasi dengan beberapa postingan orang (yang unfortunately saya follow di media sosial) dan tidak cukup ‘berani’ untuk meng-unfollow mereka karena kekerabatan yang cukup dekat. Hal yang kemudian saya lakukan adalah: menutup permanen salah satu akun sosial media saya, yaitu Path.

Maraknya pertumbuhan angka selebgrams saat ini menjadi trend anak muda dan juga ibu-ibu muda (ataupun tua). Post foto dan kemudian di-like or love oleh followers adalah candu. Candu yang begitu dahsyat sehingga seseorang rela menggelontorkan dana sosial (untuk dirinya sendiri) seperti membeli likes or followers, membeli baju baru untuk bahan post baru, makan di restoran mewah, nongkrong di café baru, mencicipi kue-kue kekinian, dan banyak hal lainnya yang tentu berdasar pada uang.

Sejujurnya, ada perasaan dimana saya sering nyeletuk dalam hati: elah, gitu aja dipamerin. Kadang bahkan celetukan itu menjadi semakin self-centre ketika saya kembalikan ke diri saya sendiri: cuy, saya juga biasa kok makan minum gituan, nongkrong ke sana sini, pake ini itu, tapi tidak saya pamer. Banyak sekali hal yang bisa saya pamerkan, jika saya mau tentunya. Tapi, saya ingat lebih banyak orang yang ‘lebih di atas’ dari saya tapi tidak serta merta memamerkan apa yang mereka punya. Sementara saya, apalah saya ini? Bukannya sok merendah atau sok meninggi di waktu yang sama, saya hanya mencoba mengenali posisi saya sebenarnya. Sounds so pathetic? Yes. Sayangnya, saya tidak memiliki nyali yang cukup untuk dihujat ‘sok pamer’.

Budaya memamerkan apa yang dimiliki menurut saya adalah hal yang baru merebak sejak naik daunnya sosial media segala rupa. Kompetisi dunia maya membuat orang-orang berlomba mendapat pengakuan atas apa yang dilakukan dan dimilikinya. Tapi, bagi beberapa orang-orang tindakan semacam ini bukan memamerkan sesuatu melainkan memberikan inspirasi. Elah! Excuse ini kemudian melahirkan generasi-generasi ‘sok inspiratif’ dalam hal berpenampilan, bersosialisasi, berpendidikan, dan lebih parah lagi: beragama.

Kebiasaan pamer yang semakin menjadi-jadi (dengan atau tanpa disadari oleh orang tersebut) bisa menjadi penambah jarak silaturrahmi. Pamer itu, menurut saya, adalah sesuatu yang dilakukan seseorang untuk ‘meninggikan’ dirinya. Let alone pamer galau dan alay! Itu diluar konteks post ini. Iya, ada sih pamer yang tidak ‘meninggikan’ diri, tapi most of the time pamer itu diperuntukkan kenaikan posisi di mata sosial dengan cara yang cukup smooth.

Bagi saya, candu pamer semacam ini adalah hal yang bisa dihentikan (jika mau).

Mungkin bagi kalian saya terdengar (seharusnya terbaca) adalah tukang ngomong doang. Yah, saya memang tidak menyukai beberapa posts orang yang saya follow dan saya tidak memiliki cukup keberanian untuk menegur langsung atau bahkan unfollow. Iya, saya masih memiliki keinginan untuk mempunyai hubungan baik dengan orang-orang tersebut terlepas dari satu sifat pamernya itu. Iya, dan saya masih manusia biasa yang kadang merasa terganggu dengan kelakuan mereka. Tapi pilihan apa yang saya punya? Satu, cablak aja cuy. Dua, pura-pura tidak melihat dan menyadari. Tiga, tutup akun sosial media aja cyin.

Here, I’m not playing victim. Being a victim is just a matter of perspective. You could bother or be bothered, it’s depend on how you see yourself and where.

If I say: to be honest, I could say I have a lot of things to be shown off if I want. I have a good life with a loving husband and family, nice long last friendships, a kind-hearted boss and a well-paid job, a good education background, a strong personality, and many more that I can manifest into Instagram posts and get admiration for those.

Then, if you read my last paragraph and imagine that I post everything that I have in my Instagram page, would you consider me as an inspiring person despite my dictions? If you have a pure heart (or innocent thought) perhaps you’d say yes I’m inspiration. You will try to copy my life and set your life goal as what I’ve shown. Then, at the very basic you just have to realize that everyone is different. You can’t be me and neither can I. Being inspired is good and being an inspiration is better. But look, it will drive us into some part of deeper relations in an unrealistic world.

Here is the thing, being able to post something magnificent in a social media will cost you a dependency. You will be encouraging yourself to post more and more. People giving you an accomplishment for what you’ve posted is something that will make your day. In a long run, you’ll be exhausted to fulfill everyone’s wit. How if you stop to be inspiring, one day you feel tired and decide to rest, people will mock.  And, you couldn’t blame them for that. Your followers never been wronged. Or the worst thing is, you will be addicted to be a part of the never-end circle of social media trend like once you’re in no way out. It is sound like a horror-thriller movie, isn’t it?

In this post, I may sound sarcastic again. But, the thing is I’m kind of sick of what I’ve seen in my Instagram. I need it to be connected due to my actual distance from most of my family and friends. I need it to be able to see what’s going on, yes I want to be updated also for sure. But then I just realized that everything has two sides. Take it or leave it. And for now, I choose to take it. Leaving it may become an option for undecided time frame.

I know that some of you positioning yourself in mine. Being so sarcastic and a coward in the same time regarding this issue. Some of you may blame my words and consider it as a very insulting and wiseacre person. I could fully understand all those thoughts and I am still being irritated with the way people think. Unfortunately, I could barely stand with that because I still have other persons with the same frequency with me toughen each other.

For those who consider themselves as an inspiration and keep inspiring people with what they believe as an inspiration, I’m not cursing or blaming you all. I just want to let you know that there are people out there, like me, who feel very poor with the recent condition of what you consider as inspiring.

My husband once told me to leave behind those kind of immature people and asked me why I don’t show off what I have. My answer is, I don’t want to be addicted like those kind of likely-inspiring persons, that I’m afraid I will turn out be like them and I won’t be able to stop myself. I just have a different wit with them.

I don’t force them to stop. I don’t force myself to curse more.

The last thing, let me quote one of my favorite old proverbs:

Langit tak perlu menjelaskan mengapa dia tinggi.

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Education and Behavior

Education is important. For everyone with no exception.

What, where, and how you will get education is the question that should remain in ourselves. None of us, women and men, wants to be left behind because our lack of education. The thing is, what makes you being educated?

Sorry if my question is quite sarcastic. I was just amazed with how the education could put an extra label on someone. Like, oh that woman is high-educated. Or, oh that woman is a good catch (because she holds a good education level). Well, it is more than that.

The education is not only about the label that you’ve had. Being able to understand the life meaning is one of education is for. I don’t try to sound more philosophically here, I just try to seek the reason why does a person really glory herself because she is ‘high-educated’. This notion bothers me lately.

Okay, let’s start with number. In Indonesia, according to the latest census by national statistical institute (2010), only a slight differences between male and female in obtaining a higher degree in urban area (11.20% male and 10.24 female) and in rural area (2.95% male and 2.9% female). See? Despite the low number compared to Indonesia’s whole population, there is no lagging behind anymore. Or at least women are running fast creating a way for their own in education level.

So, forget the number! I don’t really like the number thou.

Back to the first question, what makes you being educated? A degree you’ve obtained by the class you attended and grades you got? Or by your attitude?

Education is much related with attitude, as far as I believe. A well-educated person could perform a good behavior according to time and place she is in regards with her quality. Apparently, it doesn’t seem so smooth this far. I mean, I’ve seen a bunch of ‘self-proclaimed high-educated’ people don’t behave like what their education require. But yes, forgive me if I’m wrong that in-class education is not eligible to determine a behavior of a person. Yes, I believe that too anyway.

Perhaps I’ve been running around in this post, you may get confused by now.

I just don’t understand why there is a very proud person when she has a higher level of education compared to other people. Still don’t get it?

I point this out to those people out there with a very good education level and ‘less-good’ behavior. It is good that you have the chance to enjoy your education with ups and downs when not everyone has. It is not a sin that you play the ‘innocent’ role who needs people to recognize your ‘achievement’ as a nice high-educated person. The thing is, why do you do it?

A well-educated person will see herself as a person who always need to dig more. Not seeking for an accomplishment. Being a small-minded person while having a very good educational background seems like a deterioration for that person, right? Please, when you already have a degree or two, why don’t make yourself a classy person by not driving yourself down with your ‘unintelligent’ behavior? Don’t you realize that, out there, there are a lot of people who hold more than you have but they behave very decent and modest?

I believe that modesty will set your class and within your good degree you will be become classy. Seeking for an accomplishment, somewhat sometime, is something that in reverse will make people see you as an immature-thought type of person. You think that what are you doing will award you a class, but it’s the opposite. Instead of giving an accomplishment, people will examine you with a question: is this how a well-educated person should behave?

Well, I would like to quote the famous Frank Ocean’s words:

“Work hard in silence, let your success be your noisy.”